--- content_date: 2020-10-09 feed: "DANIEL_ON_SLOPE" codex_section: "S09" codex_candidate: false source: Scotomaville source_file: 02.04-patience.pdf chapter: 02.04-patience total_pdf_pages: 12 volume: v2 title: "Patience: Keeping Your Nose Up in Spite of Loss" monomyth_stage: "06 - Tests, Allies, Enemies" category: - awareness - strategy - integration tags: - patience - windsurfing - lockdown - storytelling - scotoma - personal-everest - bread-and-circuses - depression - self-review - youtube-analytics summary: I explore the discipline of patience while waiting for my new custom foil-board and watching the windsurfing season slip away due to smoke, rain, and lockdown. By binge-watching my own Scotomaville episodes I gain perspective on my progress, uncover an old scotoma about my storytelling style, and practice the hard work of turning loss into altitude for my attitude. I urge you to record and review your own journey so you can see real improvement and resist the distractions of bread and circuses. qr_links: - https://youtu.be/MXu-xr610_0 --- # 02.04-patience ## Spread 001 [p1–p2] **type:** image_heavy | **img coverage:** L=40% R=28% **heading:** Leaving SCOTOMAVILLE ### Visual description The two-page spread opens with a clean white left page dominated by the large bold title "PATIENCE" and the chapter number "2.04" beneath it. Above the title are two stacked subtitle lines: "KEEPING YOUR NOSE UP - IN SPITE OF LOSS" and "PATIENCE IS ABOUT GAINING ALTITUDE WITH YOUR ATTITUDE WHILE WAITING." A full-width documentary photograph occupies the bottom of the left page, showing Daniel in a black wetsuit and helmet, holding a camera for a selfie while seated on a windsurf board on calm water at sunset, with a distant yellow sail visible and mountains in the background; the footer reads "LEAVING SCOTOMAVILLE." The right page features a vertical photograph of a new red-and-black foil-board standing upright in a storage area among other boards and equipment, with a dark gray caption box above it stating "FIRST CUSTOM FOIL-BOARD: I have windsurfed for nearly four decades. This is the first new board I've bought since 1983!" A pull-quote below the board photo reads: “It took eight months - and a missed season - for me to pay for it. Darn lockdown!” The lower half of the right page contains body text discussing wind conditions, progress with jibes, and the patience metaphor, plus an "EVIDENCE YOU CAN FOLLOW" section, with the footer "LEAVING SCOTOMAVILLE" and page number 203. The visuals are entirely documentary photographs from Daniel’s actual windsurfing experience rather than cartoons or diagrams. The juxtaposition of the active water shot with the static new board in storage directly supports the chapter’s theme of patience while waiting for wind and for the lockdown-delayed purchase. ### Left page Leaving SCOTOMAVILLE PATIENCE KEEPING YOUR NOSE UP - IN SPITE OF LOSS PATIENCE IS ABOUT GAINING ALTITUDE WITH YOUR ATTITUDE WHILE WAITING 2.04 ### Right page Leaving SCOTOMAVILLE 203 FIRST CUSTOM FOIL-BOARD: I have windsurfed for nearly four decades. This is the first new board I’ve bought since 1983! You can see the wind is shutting off. I’m working to keep the foil’s attitude up to prevent stalling. Of course, that is a metaphor, but this is the end of the season. Overall, I’m starting to nail my jibes and be less of a klutz. Less of what’s the word... the awk ward partner. I’m less of that. I’m satisfied with my progress. I’m finishing about three out of four of my jibes. I’m missing some because I’m stepping off the board or landing in the wrong place. It’s a little too nar row. My new board’s finished, but we’re waiting for cash flow to pick it up. So patience on that. Yep, keep my nose up. Don’t quit. EVIDENCE YOU CAN FOLLOW The purpose of my channel is to provide Onus Probandi - actual evidence of a Personal Everest so that you can follow - like the geese that fly in a chevron - for you to mimic and climb your Personal Everest. Sometimes we get in a funk. Sometimes the season ends. You spend a week in the smoke, and then you get a week of no wind, and then you get a week of rain, and the season’s over. Patience is not about waiting for things to happen. It’s not about finding little tasks to keep you busy - like painting things, cooking, reorganizing, fixing your shoes, or even watch “It took eight months - and a missed season - for me to pay for it. Darn lockdown!” ## Spread 002 [p3–p4] **type:** image_heavy | **img coverage:** L=34% R=15% **heading:** ing epidemiological curves ### Visual description The left page opens with a full-width screenshot of the Maricopa County COVID-19 epidemic curve dashboard, showing a green bar graph of daily confirmed cases that peaks sharply around late June 2020 before declining, with tabs for overall cases, age groups, race/ethnicity, and other filters visible at the top. Below the graph sits a large centered pull-quote in bold: “PATIENCE IS ABOUT LEVERAGING YOUR TIME TO GAIN INSIGHTS AND TO SHARPEN YOUR MIND SUBJECTIVELY.” The right page is dominated by two side-by-side images: on the left, a close-up photograph of an older man (Daniel) asleep in bed under a rumpled red-and-white blanket, head on a pillow; on the right, a browser screenshot of the Scotomaville YouTube channel page displaying multiple video thumbnails including “PERSISTENCE,” “PROLOGUE,” “SEGUE,” and “CURVES.” Body text flows around and beneath these elements, with the right page also featuring the bold heading “RELIVE YOUR JOURNEY” near the bottom. The visuals are entirely documentary—real screenshots and a personal photograph taken during the actual events—rather than illustrative or cartoonish. The juxtaposition of the official public-health curve with the intimate image of the author sick in bed and the YouTube interface creates a dry, ironic commentary on the gap between the broad epidemiological narrative and one man’s private experience of the same period. ### Left page ing epidemiological curves unfold for days, weeks, and months. Patience is about leveraging your time to gain insights and to sharpen your mind subjectively. That’s how I see it with my strengths and coping mechanisms defined as Achiever, Input, Learner, Belief, and Activator. Essentially those are a storytelling Vulcan mind-meld. Pause for just a moment and think about your strengths - your coping mechanisms. How do your strengths give you meaning? What do you do when they are stiffled? I decided to climb a Personal Everest - to learn and share by creating Scotomaville. I’m wearing my mask at the event site, and I dare take it off. This is a horrible smoke. With the past week of rain, I found myself really blah. I guess it was depression. I have never experienced that. Patience is about leveraging your time to gain insights and to sharpen your mind subjectively. I BINGE-WATCHED MYSELF I killed my gut with lectins from tomatoes and peppers. It’s been a couple of days fixing it with kimchi and chlo rella. I had to use some of my tools to get my butt out of that crevasse. That one was horrible. Thankfully the mental tools work well for me. One of the things I had to concede - allow myself to admit - is that for the first time in my life, I know what depres sion is - for at least a week. I Leaving SCOTOMAVILLE 204 ### Right page i spent a few days in bed, sick and depressed having lost my coping mechanism of play ing with peers on the water. i binge-watched all of my own episodes and was surprised they were decently en tertaining and definitely insightful. unexpectedly lost my coping mechanism of being on the water. I then had to accept a premature end of the season. I was like... oh my gosh, I don’t know what to do with myself. I ended up watching my episodes. So yeah, I went back and binge-watched this whole thing. I used my time off to review my progress. Transparently I’ve spent a few days in a funk for the first time in my life because I realized that there wasn’t anything I could do about COVID or the smoke. That was mentally taxing. And then I realized I had never reviewed my own journey. So I watched half of my book last night and had a fantastic experience. You should do that too. It’s not bad, considering I didn’t know where I was going. I just set out to do something - as should you. I just stuck the camera out and started recording. I discovered that reliving my journey gave me a much broader perspective. If you’re trying to get up an Everest and you get halfway in a cloud layer, and you can’t see the valley or the mountaintop - ah, that can be horrible. Although you’re climbing, you won’t appreciate the journey. You’ll be on the mountain but without a decent perspective. Because I have the book’s entirety as video episodes, I could watch my progress. I could watch tiny signals I give on fixation or when I am triggered or pegged process ing the next word. I could see those cues. I could see an overall improvement in just six months. That was enough to burn off the mental fog of not making good progress. RELIVE YOUR JOURNEY By mimicking me - shooting your journey, looking at your efforts in hindsight - you’ll be amazed. Take your CliftonStrengths Assessment, so you will know in advance where your fault-line and your footholds will be up your moun tain. A perspective of making progress will be required at some point. It’s essential. Don’t just look at mine and think, oh yeah, I’ll just watch this. No, you need to mark YOUR pathway. Leaving SCOTOMAVILLE 205 ## Spread 003 [p5–p6] **type:** image_heavy | **img coverage:** L=35% R=25% **heading:** I’m encouraging you to record ### Visual description The left page of this spread opens with a large, high-angle documentary photograph showing a man (Daniel) in a black t-shirt and cap standing beside a concrete picnic table in a grassy field, with a bag and equipment visible on the ground. Body text from the chapter flows around and below the image, continuing the excerpt about recording personal progress and watching others’ journeys. A prominent centered pull-quote in large bold type at the bottom of the left page reads: “STORYTELLING IS EITHER A SUPERPOWER OR KRYPTONITE – DEPENDING ON YOUR AIM.” The right page contains additional body text under the subhead “STORYTELLING IS A SUPERPOWER,” including a personal story about a conversation with friend Alan Landis on the power and pitfalls of narrative. In the lower right, a close-up photograph depicts an older man (Daniel) wearing a dark cap, with a layered digital overlay of white geometric lines, floating numerical codes, and a glowing wireframe sphere held between his hands against a blurred outdoor background. This right-hand image has a metaphorical, augmented-reality quality that visually echoes the chapter’s discussion of storytelling as a tool for seeing or reshaping one’s own blind spots. The footer “LEAVING SCOTOMAVILLE” appears on both pages along with page number 206. ### Left page I’m encouraging you to record your journey. Maybe you don’t want to put it on YouTube, but I’m assuring you that you’ll want to watch your behavior change over time to realize that you are making progress. If you’re watching this to understand your partner, your child, or your friend, then watch their videos. Follow their journey too. It’s hard to see the value of your journey out of SCOTOMA VILLE while you are drowning in change, or while being patient, or stalled waiting for an event like graduation, or getting out of the military, or a wedding, or childbirth, or the next purchase, or getting better from an illness. Without accountability to someone else to show progress to, a lack of self-commitment and discipline will slow self-mas “storytelling is either a superpower or kryptonite - depending on your aim.” leaving SCOTOMAVILLE 206 ### Right page your dining room table, you said to me something like, “Daniel, you talk too much.” Alan said, “What? The point I was making was that it takes you a long time to get to your point.” Wow, was I wrong? I completely misunderstood his point. Talk about a scotoma! We are 100% wrong 50% of the time! I recall him saying, “you talk way too much,” as with Dale Carnegie pointing out that our favorite subject is ourselves. Alan meant that I’m very detailed with complex ideas, and it takes me a lot of words to make my point. Alan has mastered storytelling. He puts complex things into simple terms - something I’m far from mastering. Yeah, you get my point. I better stop talking. I appreciate Alan. tery. You’ll gain a healthy perspective from the milestones of your journey. You’ll value the evidence of your progress, and your subtle improvements will set you free. STORYTELLING IS A SUPERPOWER Storytelling is either a superpower or kryptonite. There are two points of view for this. You can recognize storytelling as kryptonite when you’re gamed or being handed a narra tive. But, more importantly, when the story directing your life is omitting facts and evidence- then it’s aimed at your head with the wrong outcome in mind. That’s Kryptonite. On the other side of the coin is the story you tell yourself. It determines how much effort you’re going to make. Eighty-five percent of success is just straight-up luck via perseverance. When you practice long enough, you’ll eventually be prepared for the opportunity when it arrives. That’s because you’ll have a superior mindset having done the work beforehand. But you’ll never do the hard part beforehand unless you paint your future-self with an amazing story. Therein is the superpower — the story you choose for yourself. The facts you align with determine your worldview and the effort you make. In the process, your scotomas - your blind spots - can be discovered and healed. DANIEL YOU TALK WAY TOO MUCH This week I discovered an old scotoma through a friend Alan Landis. I had hoarded a false be lief for over a decade. In our conversation, Alan and I talked about storytelling as a superpow er. I said, “Alan, you often make very persuasive points. One of them I remember well is that at your dining room table, you said to me something like, “Daniel, you talk too much.” Alan said, “What? The point I was making was that it takes you a long time to get to your point.” Wow, was I wrong? I completely misunderstood his point. Talk about a scotoma! We are 100% wrong 50% of the time! I recall him saying, “you talk way too much,” as with Dale Carnegie pointing out that our favorite subject is ourselves. Alan meant that I’m very detailed with complex ideas, and it takes me a lot of words to make my point. Alan has mastered storytelling. He puts complex things into simple terms - something I’m far from mastering. Yeah, you get my point. I better stop talking. I appreciate Alan. tery. You’ll gain a healthy perspective from the milestones of your journey. You’ll value the evidence of your progress, and your subtle improvements will set you free. leaving SCOTOMAVILLE ## Spread 004 [p7–p8] **type:** image_heavy | **img coverage:** L=80% R=0% **heading:** Note that of 54.9K views for the channel, 49.6K are for 5 of the ### Visual description The left page of the spread is dominated by a large, dark-themed screenshot of the YouTube Studio “Channel content” dashboard, displaying a table of video titles with thumbnails, view counts, and engagement metrics. A prominent red oval circles the “Views” column, highlighting the top video at 25,143 views and the rapid drop-off in subsequent entries. Below the table, additional analytics panels show a line graph of impressions and views over time, a traffic sources pie chart, and audience demographics by age and gender. A gray text box overlays the lower portion of the screenshot with the exact excerpt about 54.9K total views and 90% concentration on Airstream-titled videos. The right page features clean, typographic layout with bold headings (“OPPORTUNITY TO INFLUENCE,” “AIRSTREAMING IS CLICK-BAIT,” “BREAD & CIRCUSES”) and body text discussing the data’s implications, plus a boxed “AUTHOR NOTE” in the lower right. The overall visual is documentary in style, using the real YouTube interface as evidence, with the red highlight and stats creating an ironic commentary on the gap between desired influence and actual viewer behavior. ### Left page Note that of 54.9K views for the channel, 49.6K are for 5 of the 100 videos. That means 90% of the viewings are for the video titles with ‘Airstream’. 1/2 the viewers came from YouTube search and 1/3 from a YouTube sidebar recommendation. leaving SCOTOMAVILLE 208 ### Right page OPPORTUNITY TO INFLUENCE We are still chasing the acquisition of our Airstream - for the fifth time! Why? It’s for the YouTube Channel. Let me show you the actual numbers - the statistics - to base it on data. Look where I see is my opportunity to influence - to talk to you. You most likely came to my channel based on the Airstream title. At left are the YouTube views of my channel and how long people watch each video. The top five videos constitute nearly all of my channel viewing time. 5% = 90% AIRSTREAMING IS CLICK-BAIT Our Airstream rental revealed a market I could address, and YouTube would promote it for profit. It seems I should make more videos about Airstreaming. 2/3 are men, and most are in the 45 to 54 age group. They’re almost all coming from a YouTube search, and 80% are on a phone. But I don’t have an Airstream! Can you imagine the emotion of finally discovering a market and a topic of interest but losing access to an Airstream? I’m still waiting, maybe months and months and months, to get into our own Airstream. I know, patience! After four prior failed attempts at financing the Airstream, we’ve learned a lot about persevering and patience. I bet some people believe our pursuit of an Airstream is about flaunting a luxury RV or lifestyle. (see Episode v02.12) Nope. Scotoma. Our journey is about finding a way to connect with people. It’s about building a bridge between us. It’s my Personal Everest surrounded by failures and misunderstandings to share more important truths about AI and the race of self-awareness. In my mind, I need the Airstream as a tool to reach the audience with what I think is a more critical message. YouTube tells me I’ve found AN audience but is that MY audience? With the Airstream I can communicate essential, and more profound, things not expected with the Airstream life - like the triggers that come from the surprise, shock, and unpre paredness for the twists and challenges. I can outmaneuver machine learning and settle Maslow’s base with a mobile home and office. BREAD & CIRCUSES I learned something today because I did the hard work. I heard Attorney General William Barr say something unfamiliar. I didn’t understand it. So rather than just let it go over my AUTHOR NOTE: Imagine the tension of discovering a topic that YouTube promotes to an audience that actually watches the videos - but NOT having the Airstream to shoot further content with? We returned the Bambi at the end of Volume One, near the beginning of the pandemic, and had to live in a hostel while we figured out how to reboot and not lose the oppor tunity. Yeah that was crazy tough. The question is... are the viewers MY target audience? I’m not certain. leaving SCOTOMAVILLE 209 ## Spread 005 [p9–p10] **type:** image_heavy | **img coverage:** L=0% R=37% **heading:** head, I decided to look into his ### Visual description The two-page spread (pages 210–211) features a text-heavy layout with a large centered pull-quote from William Barr at the top of the left page, reading “it’s all about distracting people from anything that’s important and principled... that goes part and parcel with creating dependence.” The left page continues with multiple paragraphs of body text analyzing “bread and circuses” historically and in modern contexts like social media, with select phrases (such as “What’s our bread and circuses today? It’s all distraction...”) highlighted in red. The right page opens with the heading “THE STORY I TELL MYSELF” followed by personal narrative text about emotional triggers, false conclusions, and the need for patience, then transitions into a color photograph in the lower right. The photograph is a close-up, documentary-style underwater shot showing a person’s hands in green water with rising bubbles; one arm wears a black wetsuit sleeve marked “43” with a red circular logo, gripping an object that appears to be gear or equipment. The image feels metaphorical rather than ironic, visually evoking immersion and perseverance in a challenging environment to align with the chapter’s patience theme and the adjacent text about “doing the hard thing” and waiting for timing to converge. Both pages share the footer “LEAVING SCOTOMAVILLE” with page numbers at the bottom. ### Left page head, I decided to look into his statement about ‘bread and circuses.’ Are you familiar? William Barr: “our constitution was meant for a discern ing, informed virtuous people. You have to raise the question of whether we still have that in our country. We certainly have forces that are attempting to cultivate dependent people. And it’s the same old game. It’s bread and circuses.” What’s our bread and circuses today? It’s all distraction... ‘Bread and Circuses.’ That phrase piqued my interest because I didn’t know it. So I did, as I wrote in Volume One, the hard work: “don’t miss an opportunity to do the hard thing. Don’t just take a shortcut. Don’t leave it as ‘good enough’ and unfinished.” I did the homework. It’s a very interesting phrase because it’s prevalent in today’s society. ‘Bread and circuses’ refers to a poet-writer of the late Roman Republic before the Roman Empire. Politicians found the easiest way to rise to power was to pass into law things that were ‘bread’ - free food and welfare programs and guaranteed minimum in come kind of things - coupled with ‘circuses’ (entertainment). Think about the Internet and social media. In the Roman’s case, it was coliseums, but today it’s digital entertainment. How do you rise to power and control the masses? In the Ro man era, ‘bread and circuses’ was the strategy. Look at the political strategies across the country: ‘give it away’ - ‘appease the masses.’ Don’t have people do the hard work. Instead, distract them with Bread & Circuses. It’s worth thinking about. William Barr: “it’s all about distracting people from anything that’s important and principled. That’s why so many people don’t pay attention. They’re distracted. They’re distracted by all the stimulation of their senses... That goes part and parcel with creating dependence.” SCENE CHANGE “it’s all about distracting people from anything that’s important and principled... that goes part and parcel with creating dependence.” William Barr Leaving SCOTOMAVILLE 210 ### Right page The story we tell ourselves is really important because it gets us to do the hard thing like the research I did on Bread & Circuses. I added knowledge based on facts and not just narratives or emotional kryptonite. Later we’ll explore the neuro-chemical process that connects thoughts with feelings. For now, understand that imagining your ‘future-self’ makes it all easier. THE STORY I TELL MYSELF It turns out today I’m ill-prepared for the late-season weather. I don’t have the right gear to foil with others on the river. I have strong emotions about being left out, and I know where they come from. I remember false conclusions that I’m still working out. Patience. Patience on the gear. I will finish paying for my new board based on my history of getting stuff. That’s what doing the hard thing can be about - persevering while waiting for the things and timing to converge. I’m not giving up. I’m not settling for someone else’s kryptonite aimed at my life. I’m not settling for the life I was handed. I’m getting the heck out of SCOTOMA VILLE. Thanks for watching this Episode. As you have seen, my story is not about Airstreaming. it’s about an inner expedition, so I appreciate your attention. Upward! Leaving SCOTOMAVILLE 211 ## Spread 006 [p11–p12] **type:** text_only | **img coverage:** L=16% R=19% **heading:** MXu-xr610_0 **urls:** `https://youtu.be/` ### Left page YOURT https://youtu.be/MXu-xr610_0 You’ve spent months in ‘lock-down’. What portions of the stories you consummed were ‘Bread and Circuses’? What relationship did the stories have with your emotions like anxiety, depression, withdrawl, etc...? List thoughts, convictions and better outcomes. WATCH As a curious explorer and a scholar focused on self-mas tery and the human condition, you may find this an intriguing example of how the pursuit of superficial pleasures and reliance on external sources can lead to a loss of autonomy and eventual downfall, both on a personal level and in the broader context of a civilization. The term “Bread and Circuses” (Panem et Circenses) originates from the Roman satirical poet Juvenal around the end of the 1st century and beginning of the 2nd century AD. Juvenal used the phrase to describe a method employed by the emperors to win the popular favor by providing cheap food and entertainment. The Historical Context: Emperor Augustus: The concept of “Bread and Circuses” began to emerge during the reign of Emperor Augustus (27 BC – 14 AD). He inaugurated the policy of providing free or heavily subsidized wheat to the Roman citizens along with public games, spectacles, and gladiatorial contests. Continuation with Later Emperors: Following rulers continued and expanded these policies, cre ating an expectation among the Roman populace. Political Purpose: By providing these amenities, the emperors managed to placate the masses and divert their attention from political issues, unem ployment, and potential uprisings. It allowed the ruling elite to maintain control without needing to address underlying societal problems. The Consequences: Dependence on the State: Over time, these policies led to a population dependent on the gov ernment for sustenance and entertainment. The citizenry became less involved in civic matters and more focused on personal gratification. Economic Strain: The increasing demands for public games and free grain put a substantial economic burden on the state. This, combined with other fiscal problems like corruption, weakened the Roman economy over time. Moral Decay and Complacency: The obsession with pleasure and leisure contributed to a per ceived decline in moral values and civic virtues. EXTRA CREDIT ### Right page RTURN Share a Bread & Circus insight with other readers, and the Author. DISCUSS The masses became complacent, and the societal fabric began to unravel. Contribution to the Fall of the Empire: While “Bread and Circuses” was not the sole reason for the fall of the Western Roman Empire in 476 AD, it contributed to the overall decline. The weakening of civic engagement, the economic strains, military pressures, and internal corruption played a combined role in the collapse. “Tell me about Marcus Aurelius’s involvement” Marcus Aurelius, the Stoic philosopher and Emperor of Rome from 161 to 180 AD, was indeed a signif icant figure during the period when the concept of “Bread and Circuses” was well-established. Though he was a philosopher-emperor known for his wisdom and virtuous living, he was still a part of the Roman system that employed these tactics to appease the masses Philosophical Stance: As a Stoic, Marcus Aurelius believed in self-discipline, wisdom, and civic duty. His personal writings, collected in “Meditations,” reflect a desire for a more virtuous and thoughtful life. His philosophical ideals might have been at odds with the excessive and indulgent aspects of “Bread and Circuses.” Imperial Responsibilities: As Emperor, Marcus Aurelius would have had the responsibility to maintain peace and stability within the Empire. This might have necessitated his involvement in continuing the policies of free or subsidized grain and public entertainment, even if he personally might have found them extravagant or troubling. Balancing Act: Marcus Aurelius’s reign was marked by numerous military campaigns and internal struggles. The need to maintain control and public order might have required him to strike a balance between his philosophical beliefs and the practical needs of governance. He would have understood that suddenly abolishing such ingrained policies could lead to unrest. Conclusion: Marcus Aurelius’s reign, situated in a time when these practices were well-established, provides a compelling example of the tension between personal philosophy and the pragmatic demands of leadership. His attempts to reconcile these could be seen as reflective of the broader struggle to balance moral values with societal realities, a theme that resonates well with your focus on self-mastery, ethics, and virtues.