--- content_date: 2020-04-12 feed: "DANIEL_ON_SLOPE" codex_section: "S08" codex_candidate: true source: Scotomaville source_file: 01.09-emotional-vocabulary.pdf chapter: 01.09-emotional-vocabulary total_pdf_pages: 8 volume: v1 title: Emotional Vocabulary monomyth_stage: "05 - Crossing the Threshold" category: - awareness - strategy - relationship - identity tags: - emotional-vocabulary - scotoma - ridge-running - emotional-intelligence - personal-history - relationship-dynamics - self-awareness - distinction-is-power - amygdala - refrigerator-list summary: I grew up around sailor talk and didn't learn emotional distinction from my stepfather, a cop who shot first and asked questions later. Cultivating an emotional vocabulary is like ridge-running with precision rather than playing chutes and ladders, and posting the list on the refrigerator helped me and Angelina choose better words during heated moments instead of triggering fight-or-flight reactions. This practice is key to leaving Scotomaville and developing mature awareness and healthier relationships. qr_links: - https://youtu.be/MRzeLDkWT1c - https://youtu.be/ZQMmHj3E6h8 --- # 01.09-emotional-vocabulary ## Spread 001 [p1–p2] **type:** text_only | **img coverage:** L=0% R=15% **heading:** Leaving SCOTOMAVILLE ### Left page Leaving SCOTOMAVILLE 86 Vocabulary of Emotions Happiness Caring Depression Inadequateness Fear Confusion Strong Delighted Ebullient Ecstatic Elated Energetic Enthusiastic Euphoric Excited Exhilarated Overjoyed Thrilled Tickled pink Turned on Vibrant Zippy Adoring Ardent Cherishing Compassionate Crazy about Devoted Doting Fervent Idolizing Infatuated Passionate Wild about Worshipful Zealous Alienated Barren Beaten Bleak Bleeding Dejected Depressed Desolate Despondent Dismal Empty Gloomy Grieved Grim Hopeless In despair Woeful Worried Blemished Blotched Broken Crippled Damaged False Feeble Finished Flawed Helpless Impotent Inferior Invalid Powerless Useless Washed up Whipped Worthless Zero Alarmed Appalled Desperate Distressed Frightened Horrified Intimidated Panicky Paralyzed Petrified Shocked Terrified Terror-stricken Wrecked Baffled Befuddled Chaotic Confounded Confused Dizzy Flustered Rattled Reeling Shocked Shook up Speechless Startled Stumped Stunned Taken-aback Thrown Thunderstruck Trapped Medium Aglow Buoyant Cheerful Elevated Gleeful Happy In high spirits Jovial Light-hearted Lively Merry Riding high Sparkling Up Admiring Affectionate Attached Fond Fond of Huggy Kind Kind-hearted Loving Partial Soft on Sympathetic Tender Trusting Warm-hearted Awful Blue Crestfallen Demoralized Devalued Discouraged Dispirited Distressed Downcast Downhearted Fed up Lost Melancholy Miserable Regretful Rotten Sorrowful Tearful Upset Weepy Ailing Defeated Deficient Dopey Feeble Helpless Impaired Imperfect Incapable Incompetent Incomplete Ineffective Inept Insignificant Lacking Lame Overwhelmed Small Substandard Unimportant Afraid Apprehensive Awkward Defensive Fearful Fidgety Fretful Jumpy Nervous Scared Shaky Skittish Spineless Taut Threatened Troubled Wired Adrift Ambivalent Bewildered Puzzled Blurred Disconcerted Disordered Disorganized Disquieted Disturbed Foggy Frustrated Misled Mistaken Misunderstood Mixed up Perplexed Troubled Light Contented Cool Fine Genial Glad Gratified Keen Pleasant Pleased Satisfied Serene Sunny Appreciative Attentive Considerate Friendly Interested in Kind Like Respecting Thoughtful Tolerant Warm toward Yielding Blah Disappointed Down Funk Glum Low Moody Morose Somber Subdued Uncomfortable Unhappy Dry Incomplete Meager Puny Tenuous Tiny Uncertain Unconvincing Unsure Weak Wishful Anxious Careful Cautious Disquieted Goose-bumpy Shy Tense Timid Uneasy Unsure Watchful Worried Distracted Uncertain Uncomfortable Undecided Unsettled Unsure .09 VOL 1 AWARENESS EMOTI VOCAB ### Right page Leaving SCOTOMAVILLE 87 I grew up around sailor talk. My adopted grandfather was a Marine drill instructor. His only child became my stepdad. He didn’t learn or pass-on emotional distinction. He was a cop and an undercover narcotics agent. His practice was to shoot first and, when the dust settled, figure out the story and who might have been guilty. Tom Drummond, North Seattle Community College Hurt Anger Loneliness Remorse Abused Aching Anguished Crushed Degraded Destroyed Devastated Discarded Disgraced Forsaken Humiliated Mocked Punished Rejected Ridiculed Ruined Scorned Stabbed Tortured Affronted Belligerent Bitter Burned up Enraged Fuming Furious Heated Incensed Infuriated Intense Outraged Provoked Seething Storming Truculent Vengeful Vindictive Wild Abandoned Black Cut off Deserted Destroyed Empty Forsaken Isolated Marooned Neglected Ostracized Outcast Rejected Shunned Abashed Debased Degraded Delinquent Depraved Disgraced Evil Exposed Humiliated Judged Mortified Shamed Sinful Wicked Wrong Annoyed Belittled Cheapened Criticized Damaged Depreciated Devalued Discredited Distressed Impaired Injured Maligned Marred Miffed Mistreated Resentful Troubled Used Wounded Aggravated Annoyed Antagonistic Crabby Cranky Exasperated Fuming Grouchy Hostile Ill-tempered Indignant Irate Irritated Offended Ratty Resentful Sore Spiteful Testy Ticked off Alienated Alone Apart Cheerless Companionless Dejected Despondent Estranged Excluded Left out Leftover Lonely Oppressed Uncherished Apologetic Ashamed Contrite Culpable Demeaned Downhearted Flustered Guilty Penitent Regretful Remorseful Repentant Shamefaced Sorrowful Sorry Let down Minimized Neglected Put away Put down Rueful Tender Touched Unhappy Bugged Chagrined Dismayed Galled Grim Impatient Irked Petulant Resentful Sullen Uptight Blue Detached Discouraged Distant Insulated Melancholy Remote Separate Withdrawn Bashful Blushing Chagrined Chastened Crestfallen Embarrassed Hesitant Humble Meek Regretful Reluctant Sheepish IONAL BULARY ## Spread 002 [p3–p4] **type:** image_heavy | **img coverage:** L=25% R=31% **heading:** Leaving SCOTOMAVILLE **urls:** `https://youtu.be/MRzeLDkWT1c` ### Visual description The spread’s dominant visual is a large, high-angle photograph of a narrow, jagged granite ridge with scattered snow patches, where a figure in bright orange gear traverses the exposed spine. A black caption box overlays the lower right of the image, quoting the Kilian Jornet reference and linking the “ridge-running” concept directly to the chapter’s emotional vocabulary theme. On the far right, a gray sidebar headed “Distinction is Power” displays a dense paragraph of dozens of positive adjectives in small, uniform type. Below the main photo, a small circular portrait shows an older man (Daniel) with white hair, paired with the “ONUS PROBANDI” label and a green ChatGPT icon. The mountain image functions as a metaphorical illustration rather than a literal scene from Daniel’s journey, visually equating the precision and risk of ridge-running with the skill of choosing accurate emotional words. Text elements on the left page include red-highlighted dialogue and parenthetical “(PASS/FAIL)” notes that break up the body copy. ### Left page Leaving SCOTOMAVILLE 88 That philosophy doesn’t work very well in a marriage. Fortunately, my kids survived childhood and have done fabulously in life. Cultivating An Emotional Vocabulary Consider the difference between that kid game called ‘chutes and ladders’ and the ridge-run ning (to the right) by Kilian Jornet. Yeah, he’s running like a nimble mountain goat up and down the spine of a mountain! I’m suggesting we’re capable of using emotional words to summit an arduous journey with patience and precision. Cultivating an emotional vocabulary is really ‘blinkin@* tough! I recently miscut an avocado and sliced my hand. Sailor talk surfaced long before I considered my list of feelings. My son is an EMT. He said, ‘Yeah, that happens frequently, Dad. People cut themselves rath er than avocado. Slow down, pay attention.’ “Making breakfast this morning, I intended to cut some grapefruit, and holy #@*!..” (PASS/FAIL) “Learning to choose accurate and precise emotional words is similar to segmenting a grape fruit. Your fingers are there, so you don’t want to slice into (click... smack as camera falls onto knife) aaah%#!” I trigger again! (PASS/FAIL) I didn’t see the test coming, and yet W. H. Murray warned me in advance, “All sorts of things occur to help one that would never otherwise have occurred.” I started cutting while thinking -- don’t cut yourself. Then ‘the teacher appears,’ the camera falls, testing sailor talk vs. emotional vocabulary. You saw that. (PASS/FAIL) My brain reacted as if a tiger was leaping at me from a tree, triggering adrenaline to accelerate my fight or flight. I intend to act calmly, but my biology wants to run for my life! So I felt threatened and curse like a sailor. What the f..! Piece of S..^#@!!” After calm ing down, I realize my amygdalae are still opposing my distinction and expression! I’m not yet a civilized emotional ‘sommelier’! Ok, not yet, but I’m cultivating my pathways! ### Right page Leaving SCOTOMAVILLE 89 absolutely a certain adaptable adequate advantage aligned animated approving assured astonishing astounded authentic aware balanced beaming behind blessed blissful bold brave bright calm capable carefree centered certain certainly cheerful childlike clarity clear comfortable confident conscien tious constructive content convenient cooperative courageous creative daring definitely delighted dependable eager earnest ease easy ecstatic effective efficient elated emphasize empowered encouraged energetic enthusiastic euphoric excellent exhilarated extremely exuberant festive fluid focused forgiving freedom frisky fulfilled fun-loving funny genuine gleeful glorious glowing graceful grateful gratified grounded healthy helpful honest honored hopeful humility important innocent inspired intelligent jovial joyous jubilant keen laughing left liberated lighthearted magical magnificent meditative miracle missing most motivated natural okay open-minded optimistic overjoyed placid playful pleased privileged productive proven quick quiet radiant recommend reduced reflective relaxed reliable remarkable reputable resourceful responsible responsive rested revolutionary safe satisfied secure self-sufficient sensational serene sincere solid spirited spontaneous spunky stable steady still stoic substantial sunny superb su perior supported supportive sure surprised tenacious thankful thrilled tickled transparency tremendous truly trusted trusting trustworthy truthful unassuming unhurried upbeat uplifted vibrant vigorous wonderful worthwhile worthy youthful “Distinction is Power” ONUS PROBANDI: Help me understand what I intended to say in this transcript. There are several good ideas, but I’m not making an intelligible narrative. It seems that the transcript provided centers around emotional intelligence. We’ll break down the main ideas and organize them into a coherent narrative: Commitment to Purpose-Driven Journeys: The beginning emphasizes the importance of being committed to a purposeful journey, high lighting that providence provides unexpected aid when one is dedicated. Talk about learning an emotional vocabulary! They call it ‘ridge-running’ - racing between cliffs on the granite spine of a mountain. Kilian Jornet - https://youtu.be/MRzeLDkWT1c ## Spread 003 [p5–p6] **type:** text_only | **img coverage:** L=7% R=0% **heading:** Leaving SCOTOMAVILLE ### Left page Leaving SCOTOMAVILLE 90 Tracking Personal Growth: There’s a strong recommendation to record even the mundane events of life, reflecting on personal growth over time. This could be seen as a strategy for intentional self-improvement. From Awareness to Understanding: The importance of mature awareness through understanding is underlined, and there is a call to observe how instinctual reactions (fight or flight) can be tempered with emotional maturity. This illustrates how our primitive reactions can be harnessed and refined. Discipline in Emotional Vocabulary: Building emotional vocabulary is seen as a means of fostering healthy expression instead of reactionary outbursts. This part emphasizes the disciplined practice of self-regulation, likening the process to creating off-ramps for instinctu al, life-threatening reactions. Judicious Use of Vocabulary: The transcript recognizes that newfound awareness should be handled wisely, not to alienate or assault others but to build bridges. Your anecdote about fixating on your Asperger score adds a personal touch and a gentle reminder to be patient with oneself. Practical Steps to Emotional Development: Toward the end, you provide practical tips for readers to enhance their emotional vocabulary and encourage them to integrate this practice into daily life. This section gives actionable insights to help make the abstract concept of emotional growth tangible. Encouragement and Personal Testimony: You conclude by offering encouragement, sharing your personal success as a highly functional Asperger individual, and connect ing it to your journey out of “Scotomaville.” This adds a personal and inspiring touch. As Viktor Frankl stated, “When we are no longer able to change a situation, we are chal lenged to change ourselves.” This transcript seems to embody a similar sentiment, urging readers to take control of their inner world and make positive changes. Yes, thank you. That’s how I got the heck out of Scotomaville. Alright, see you next episode. DANIEL: “Development of an emotional vocabulary is a brutal effort. It’s been an arduous journey acquiring dexterity for my awareness summit. The words are still below the surface. I have to dig for them. I had to put them on the refriger ator for at least three years.” ANGELINA: “we had the word list on the refrigerator. This was good because we would discipline our selves in the middle of a heated discussion to go to the refrigerator and pick the best word.” ### Right page Leaving SCOTOMAVILLE 91 DANIEL: “I’d have a constipated emotional word and be conflicted. I would go to the list posted on the refrigerator and ask myself which word matched how was feeling. Did I feel ‘pres sured’, under ‘tension’, ‘compelled’ or...” ANGELINA: “One of the challenges that our relationship had was Daniel pulling from his childhood the pressure to have an answer to something in an unfair amount of time. He would put unrealistic pressure on himself, and I could never understand that because I didn’t put that pressure on him”. (He felt threatened) DANIEL: “You remember I shared about my stepfather being an undercover narcotics agent - kicking the door down ‘shoot’ ‘shoot’. Okay now who was responsible for this mess?. I had consequences before I had a trial. That would be stress-filled.” ANGELINA: “I think in most relationships - from incidental to parental and vocational relationships - if people had the understanding that the distinction in the words they use have power, it would be a different outcome at times. Feeling safe that you can articulate one of those words is also really important, so that’s why Daniel in a previous video was talking about him speaking more words than I do. Over time I’ve been able to share more words because his responses are healthier as we are healthier.” DANIEL: “Is it your recommendation that there is value in using more emotionally rich words?” ANGELINA: “It’s a great tool because one: we’re different ages - we’re ten years apart. Two: we have different cultures. I was born and raised in Germany. English is my second language. The meaning behind words can be very different.” DANIEL: “And the order of words is often flipped”. ANGELINA: “Yeah, between my traumatic brain injury and English as my second language. I have a pretty good sense when someone goes ouch in whatever manifestation that ouch is. It helps to slow down and to find out what a certain word means to him - like some words that used to bug the doo-dah out of Daniel.” DANIEL: “You used the word: ‘fine’. Sandpaper comes in ‘coarse’, ‘medium’ and ‘fine’. I’d be confused... huh? What do you mean that it’s fine? Is it acceptable” or not going to work well? ANGELINA: “I recommend an emotionally rich vocabulary. It’s a benefit. It’s a relationship asset.” DANIEL: “Post it on your refrigerator. Pick words when you’re getting the glass of wine for the wife. Have fun. It’s a good tool.” ## Spread 004 [p7–p8] **type:** image_heavy | **img coverage:** L=44% R=35% **heading:** ZQMmHj3E6h8 **urls:** `https://youtu.be/` ### Visual description The left page features a large, full-bleed documentary photograph of a man viewed from behind, running on a narrow rocky ridge with arms extended, overlooking a vast green valley under dramatic cloudy skies; bold yellow text at top reads “Leaving SCOTOMAVILLE” while large white title text below states “EMOTIONAL VOCABULARY” with the subtitle “Awareness • Emotional Sommelier • Ridge Running.” Below the image, the page includes the chapter excerpt text about trust, emotional expression, and replacing “what’s wrong with you?” with “what’s troubling you?”, plus QR codes labeled “WATCH” linking to the YouTube video and the URL https://youtu.be/ZQMmHj3E6h8. The right page shows a close-up photograph of an older couple (Daniel with white hair and beard smiling at the camera, Angelina with blonde hair beside him) overlaid on a wider group gathering in a backyard setting, with multiple red hand-drawn circles highlighting faces of surrounding people; text at top includes “DISCUSS” and “REFLECT” sections with additional QR codes, and a caption below the photo references “FROM THE REFLECTION EPISODE” with a paragraph about family memories and emotional rewards. At the bottom of the right page are two hand-drawn conceptual diagrams: one circular model labeling elements like “birth,” “death,” “wisdom,” “lessons,” “events,” and “empathy,” and another with notes on “scotoma,” “fractal,” and “a living set of values.” The mountain-running image functions metaphorically as visual shorthand for the “Ridge Running” subtitle and the chapter’s theme of emotional awareness, while the circled group photo appears to illustrate real-world social/emotional interactions from the reflection video. ### Left page Leaving SCOTOMAVILLE YOURT https://youtu.be/ZQMmHj3E6h8 Trust. Fully commit. You might struggle to express feelings for many reasons. You might be very expressive, but with a shallow ledger. Change your trajectory. Aim for leadership. Savor a richer pallet and build bridges. Instead of blurting ; “what’s wrong with you?”, try asking “what’s troubling you?” Mark this page with a fold/bookmark. Write and review your growing emotional dexterity. You’ll recognize the value of subtleties. WATCH ### Right page RTURN We get it. Everyone learns to run after crawling and walking. We learn perseverance by falling. Scan the code to calmly explore an emotional vocabulary. DISCUSS FROM THE REFLECTION EPISODE If you pay attention, there are moments that capture uber-rich emotional rewards. This celebration of the life of Scott Withrow pulls numerous fond memories of deeply rewarding choices made by those involved in the YWAM Operation L.O.R.D team. (LOng Range Development) I feel a joy of ‘family’ across decades with these characters. From L-R: Daniel ‘flooding’ Tim Kleefeld (out of frame), Erik Jurgensen, Scott & Jean Hamilton, Angelina Musik-Comp, Adelia Kleefeld and Graham Kerr. I picked the raspberries and blueberries from my son David’s garden just beforehand, while appreciating that David is passing values and experience to my grandson Ruben and granddaughter June that began with Graham nearly five decades earlier. This image is indeed Onus Probandi of an emotional fractal originating with Jesus Christ, and reaching forward through an AI training set. REFLECT